| The more things change... the more they stay the same.
Graduate school is fun...... Challenging
If you dont like reading, I guarantee you will learn to enjoy reading by the time you are done with graduate school.
Back to ethics...
by the way..... Stay out of dark allys |
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| I wanna get back to writing on this thing.........Its a chance for me to clear the air after all the stress and anxiety of the day.....
I'm living back home now in ft. lauderdale
I'm home making the transition for college student --------> Working professional
To be honest... I dont like the working world..... I commute about 45 mins each way everyday
Imagine leaving work at 5:30 and not getting home until 6 :30... yah it kinda sucks
But the pay is okay i guess.......
Anyway... here I am still trying to move and get into graduate school.....
Life is just blah........ Boring.....
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| Time just keeps on ticking away.....
Done with Southeastern University....
After doing college here are some things ive learned.....
my kids arent going to private christian school
I got my little degree or whatever...i'm trying to find work......still exercising.... still making people upset one at a time... 
once again i find myself starting to get more involved into the realm of music......only this time.... I'm actually learning more about audio production and mixing and mastering and stuff instead of guitars and worship... Its good to be well rounded....
anyway.... i'll come back to this to write something noteworthy when I get the chance.....
-Stay Frosty
Stalin |
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| I had to get on this thing to vent....
I'm depressed a bit.....
I dont understand life........
Throughout my life.....there have been certain things that have scared the SHIT out of me
To experience sickness and pain in isolation
Giving my all towards a cause... and reaping Utter FAILURE.
I'm upset because, ive worked really hard these last couple of years to finish college...... Here i stand on the final 5 weeks of college and
I have intentions on trying to go to Graduate school...
I want to go to graduate school.....
because..... I want to secure my future........ I want to be financially stable
I want to do right by my parents
I want to do what I believe i'm put on this earth to do
I want to do it to be the best that I know how to be
It breaks my heart because ONE GODDAMN TEST can take all of that away from me...... the tears ... the hours of sleep lost ...THE few people who believe in me
If IDONT GET INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL....... MY LIFE IS AN UTTER FAILURE
i will have let those people down.... and I dont know if I can handle that |
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I was once watching the movie Master & Commander and during the movie, the doctor was wounded.
What I found strikingly fascinating was the fact that while the doctor was in pain... he knew exactly what was wrong internally with him. He knew his diagnosis and his prognosis.
In a similar fashion.... I too feel like I am that doctor.
you see Ive had an ADDICTION to pornography now for over ten years
ironically enough.... Like the doctor, I know exactly what is wrong with me internally.
few of you may know this but everytime a human being experiences something that is enjoyable..ie...food...laughter...sex..masturbation... the brain sends out chemicals within the brain which prompt positive feelings towards that object that is causing the pleasure ... i.e. sex....food..pornography..etc
Overtime.. the brain begins to build a dependency on that particular stimulus
For example...thats why men are told to wait until marriage in order to have sex with their wives ...because the brain will literally build somewhat of an attachment to that particular item...like his wife
or another example would be overweight people who are addicted to eating calorie saturated foods due to
the brain sending out pleasure chemicals throughout the brain and the effect is that that person overtime may become attached
I believe that pornography has the addictive pontential of heroin
LADIES YOU WANNA KNOW WHY MEN ARE SOOO DRIVEN TO PORN.... LISTEN UP
THE MOST IMPORTANT REASON IS....
PORN IS ADDICTIVE BECAUSE "PORN GIVES MEN THE CHANCE TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE (in some respects) WITHOUT PUTTING THEMSELVES OUT THERE OR PURSING WOMEN
-ITS CONVIENIENT
- IN SOME RESPECTS .... IT DOESNT HURT ANYONE ELSE
-AND A MAN DOESNT HAVE TO RISK BEING HURT OR POSSIBLY GETTING REJECTED IN ORDER TO BE PHYSICAL WITH A WOMAN
ALOT of women may get upset at men for looking at the stuff
"truth be told"
Men cannot 100% control their eyes...
GOD CREATED US THAT WAY... GET PISSED AT JESUS BEFORE YOU TORCH MEN... THATS HOW WE ARE MADE
I TELL YOU WHAT...
THROUGH THE VARIOUS GUYS THAT IVE TALKED TO... IVE COME TO THIS CONCLUSION
If masturbation is a sin...... HELL IS GOING TO BE OVERFLOWING WITH MEN.....
I'M NOT SAYING ITS OKAY... I DONT CONDONE IT.....BUT HEY MAN.....I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY
ALL I KNOW IS THE CHURCH SAYS... PRAY PRAY PRAY... TALK TO GOD TALK TO GOD...
SOME DAYS.....THAT JUST DOESNT HELP...
This is something... I wish I had an answer to
..
ive realized over the years... PORN IS JUST A BIG LIE....I WONT GO INTO DETAIL
BUT ITS HIGHLY BASED OFF OF FANTASY... I dont know why but I choose to accept the lies at times in order to escape reality
lol..... come to think of it.... it sounds alot like my friends....only thing is
their escapes are ex and bars... and marijuana.. or alchohol....
I guess we all have our vices.. now dont we
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